Post by joeynox on Feb 22, 2022 5:42:53 GMT
CWA Episode One
Live From Memphis, Tennessee
The Tournament Is Revealed!
Wrestlers Compete For $1,000,000!
Terry Funk Is Crazy!
Tag Teams Complain!
The Opening
After a basic video package opening to some snazzy synth heavy misic, we are live! Live from Memphis, Tennessee, our opening episode of CWA begins with a shot of the Memphis TV studio audience cheering it up! It's a festive atmosphere and our commentator duo of Lance Russell and Don West begin by welcoming the audience to what figures to be the most chaotic wrestling hour that anybody has seen! On today's episode, "the first step in the quest of sixteen men with million dollar dreams begin!" The tournament begins tonight as the first half of the sixteen man tournament begins and will continue over the course of eight long weeks where at the end of it all, one man is going to win a cool $1,000,00! "Absolutely but to do so he'll need to conquer fifteen other elite high level versatile athletes!" adds Don West. We're being taken right away to a video package where we're going to learn the official brackets! The brackets were drawn earlier today where there was a mandatory attendance for the wrestlers except for Drew McIntyre who isn't here due to ongoing visa problems. We see all of the wrestlers sitting in their seats and we're going to get our first look at the tournament brackets, unveiled by Bullet Bob Armstrong! Bob explains that these brackets were computer generated and then approved by the championship committee who went over it to ensure there's no "unfair matchups" in it. All of this leads us to the reveal where we find out who will face who in the opening round!
Week One
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Reverend D'Von
Shawn Michaels Vs Terry Funk
Roman Reigns Vs D'lo Brown
Eddie Guerrero Vs Scott Hall
Week Two
Brian Pillman vs Cedric Alexander
Ken Shamrock vs Jeff Jarrett
Rick Rude vs Ricky Steamboat
Drew McIntyre vs Scott Steiner
That kicks off a big huff from Bobby Heenan and the Heenan Family! Heenan claims that this is a sham and a set up because he has four guys in the tournament and "magically and without any sort of bias from this crock committee", he's got two guys facing off. "Wrestling Sheriff" Bob Armstrong says everything was computer generated and when Heenan asks why Armstrong didn't have "the computer whatever some macbook or something" reconfigure the brackets, Armstrong said the committee didn't see a problem with it. Armstrong says it guarantees a member of his family through and an angry Heenan says thats BS because it also guarantees somebody loses! Heenan says that this is a joke and he has every right to sue and it's Roman Reigns who calms things down by telling Heenan to not sweat the small stuff. Jeff Jarrett says Bob Armstrong is "a two bit Tennessee carny!" and when Bob Armstrong says it takes one to know one, Jeff Jarrett takes a bump! Roman says Heenan needs to get some fresh air and the two bail with the rest of the Heenan family following close behind but not before Bobby says that Armstrong has already burned his bridge with him!
Back live at the interview area, Bobby Heenan is still ranting and raving. He says he's being screwed over by Bob Armstrong and the CWA and he asks how "the good honest people of Tennessee" can allow this to happen. They boo and Heenan asks if they're booing him (to cheers) or Armstrong (to boos). "SEE THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!" Heenan cuts a generic but impactful promo about how no matter what is in his way, he's going to have a wrestler win a million dollars. Heenan says it's not about him or his 50% cut of the million ("FIFTY PERCENT?! NOT EVEN UNCLE SAM COULD FINAGLE A TAX THAT LARGE!" barks Russell) but about the principle. He says everyone is against his guys but his guys are going to overcome the odds. He says tonight, he knows for a fact that Roman Reigns is going to effortlessly dismantle "whatever he is. UPS Brown or Downtown Brown or whatever!" and then he knows that Scott Hall is going to send Eddie Guerrero back to "Tijuana in whatever clown car he rode in here on!" Heenan says that CWA and Memphis can't hold him back any longer and when he asks who is going to stop them, the glass shatters! Heenan freezes up in his place as out steps "Stone Cold" Steve Austin! Ole Stone Cold is on his way to the ring, son! Steve Austin stares Heenan down and then tosses off his vest to get ready for in ring action!
In our opening contest, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin defeated Reverend D'Von in a little under four minutes with the Stone Cold Stunner!
Poor Reverend D'Von was already in the ring this whole time so dude got the job guy entrance. This audience views Austin as a big deal and he carries himself as such in kind. Austin posed with fingers up in all four corners to which Lance Russell had to profusely apologize before adding "a rebel like Steve Austin will put you in a bad spot sometimes!" Reverend D'Von has his book with him and he says that Steve Austin clearly is a man who needs spiritual guidance. He opens up his bible and asks if Austin wants to hear a specific verse that might cleanse his soul. "For a small donation of course." Austin asks if D'Von has John 3:16 in there. D'Von says he does and asks if Austin wants to make a donation to hear it. Austin then asks if Reverend D'Von's bible has "Austin 3:16" in it---D'Von realizes he's about to get his ass whooped and tries to jump Austin only to get blocked and dropped with a right hand! This is 100% a squash match from the start as Austin was all over D'Von and did all of the classics. He worked him over in the corner, stomped a mudhole and walked it dry and even got the Thesz Press going early on. Austin went for the Stunner and D'Von wiggled out the back door and escaped outside where Austin put a beating on him outside the ring. D'Von showed his commitment to the business (BROTHER) by taking a back body drop on the hard studio floor from Austin. Reverend D'Von tried to pray Austin away, Austin hit him with double birds and then booted him upside the head before jawjacking with the crowd.
Austin went for a second stunner attempt and D'Von turned that into an atomic drop into a clothesline from behind! This gave us our first real glimpse of D'Von on offense and they kept it very brief but very rugged. D'von worked over Austin's neck which the commentary team was quick to point out is something Austin has struggled with in the past. It's even speculated that the reason Austin is so focused on hurting the neck of others with the Stunner is because he knows how debilitating it is because "it's the one thing that can be done to him to slow him down." D'Von hits a diving forearm off the ropes to Austin and covers him for a two count. D'Von's run on offense isn't quite as long as he would hope as he goes for his saving grace but Austin lands behind him! D'Von turns around and FINALLY eats the stunner! The Stone Cold Stunner is flush and the night is done for Reverend D'Von!
-In our post match, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin made sure to give the Reverend D'Von plenty of jawjacking and then did his poses for the crowd. The replay run for the big moves aired and the general point of view was that Austin only needs to hit one move to the damage equivalent of eleven moves for someone like D'Von. "And that's no slight on D'Von but man, Stone Cold is just truly on another level!" Back to live action, Steve Austin was absolutely in "not paid by the hour" mode as he made his way around the ringside area to get his vest and leave. Seemingly. Instead he went back to the interview area where Lance Russell met him.
Lance asks Steve if he had something he wanted to say and Steve Austin says that he's not about to talk a bunch of crap about anybody out here. All Steve wants to say is that he wants people to completely understand him. The crowd is doing the "WHAT?" thing but Steve seems 100% determined to not fall into that trap; barreling through to explain that sometimes he's going to wrestle guys the fans LOVE and they're going to hate him and sometimes he is going to wrestle guys the fans HATE and they're going to love him. He says no matter what the fans do or don't do, he'll always stay the same because he was born to be Stone Cold and he will always remain Stone Cold. Steve Austin says that he's not going to be a guy like Bobby Heenan and bitch about how things are or aren't going his way because nobody likes a bitch. Instead what he's going to do is run through each and every person put in front of him on his way to $1,000,000 because that can buy a lot of beer, a lot of guns, a lot of trucks and a hell of a lot of hunting land. "Well not if you spend it all at once, Steve!" counters Russell and we get a cute moment where Lance Russell is laughing at his own joke, realizes Steve's not laughing and shuts up. Steve's about to continue his promo but here comes Roman Reigns with Bobby Heenan! Heenan shouts that Austin should stick around so he can learn something but Steve flips both guys off and says he'd rather go drink beer!
In our follow up contest, Roman Reigns defeats D'Lo Brown in a little over 2 minutes with the spear!
With Roman Reigns already in the ring, the onus was on D'Lo Brown to make his way down there and join the mix. D'Lo came out to a pretty nice response from the crowd doing his full head wobble and swag walk but when he hopped up on the apron, Roman charged and booted him right in the face and knocked him to the floor! Reigns put a beating on D'Lo Brown outside the ring including sending him into the ring post repeatedly! With Heenan shouting encouragement, Reigns absolutely walloped on Brown until D'Lo made a desperate comeback with rights and lefts! Roman retreated into the ring to try and get away which in turn kicked off Roman Reigns vs D'Lo Brown officially. D'Lo showed off some power by slamming Roman Reigns to the mat and then headed up to the top rope for a flyin' nothing because Reigns got the boot up! D'lo is stumbling around and Reigns lights him up with a big superman punch! Reigns wants his spear but Heenan shouts that he needs to send a message so Reigns hits a SECOND superman punch! Heenan wants this to be done with now and so Reigns finishes the deal with a big spear and a cover where he puts a knee over D'lo's chest and scores an easy pinfall!
-Our post match is pretty simple as the crowd is obviously not thrilled about D'Lo Brown getting his ass handed him to him in an especially unfair manner. As lance Russell and Don West try to argue about fairness for the competitors, Don West makes the ultimate point that "Unfortunately you can't expect men to be realistic about principled combat when there's $1,000,000 on the line!" We get our first rendition of Caprice's Corner as we're taken to Caprice Coleman who in a minute or so is able to properly breakdown how the Superman Punch as Roman does it is both unique and effective. He then turns his attention to proper spear technique, arguing that Roman never puts himself in a bad spot to be hurt WHILE giving the move, calling it a controlled chaos that when done properly is safe to the wrestler giving it and devastating to the man taking it.
We come back live to Roman Reigns and Bobby Heenan here together at the winner's circle area to discuss what went down. Roman Reigns asks how long it took Steve Austin ("I refuse to call a man Stone Cold") to win his match and then asks to compare times. Reigns wants Russell to say that he took less time to win the match than Steve did and when Russell breaks up how Roman jumped D'lo before the bell began, an annoyed Reigns hits him with a long sigh and a verbal eye roll followed up by a "Am I the damn time keeper? Do I have to take care of the rules around here too?" Reigns says he doesn't care how he did it, the point is he did it. Reigns says that right now there's 1,000,000 reasons why he does the things he does and that it's not his job to referee or officiate. "Bobby can handle the fines, I handle the winning." Reigns says that $1,000,000 is a lot of money and we get a golden bit where he says right now someone in this crowd could use that money to pay off their loans and when the crowd sort of grumbles through it, he points out that Steve Austin got a bigger reaction talking about using that money to buy beer than he did talking about being responsible with money. Reigns says that the people of the CWA don't have to like it but they have to stop and accept that he is here to win $1,000,000 and he will do everything within the rules, beyond the rules and just flat out beyond the scope of a modern man to win it. "I will hurt a lot of people in the ring and out of it and Bobby can pay the fines to make it worthwhile." Reigns walks off and Heenan just points out that there's sixteen men, he's got four of them---but with the talent in his family, he knows he's got the four best guys to get the job done and it starts with Roman on down.
Tag Team Wrestling is WELCOME at CWA (Just not this week!)
Lance Russell is left alone to do the wrap up and Lance points out that we've already had two of the biggest names in wrestling advance in the race to $1,000,000. Lance Russell says either Austin or Reigns will be tough to beat going forward and then he paints a picture of Austin vs Heenan as a bigger extended angle, discussing how if Austin winds up against a guy within Bobby's family of wrestlers, he'll be left to wonder if they want to take Steve out for themselves or if they'll have orders to get rid of Austin for Reigns. Either way, the general vibe seems to be painting a picture that these two are the favorites. Before Lance can get too far into doddering, he's interrupted by the arrival of American Alpha! Chad Gable and Jason Jordan are here but they're not dressed to wrestle! The two approach Lance Russell and say that they'd like to speak to Bob Armstrong. It takes a little bit of time but out comes Bob to join them at the table! Bob says the guys could've spoken to him in the back but Jason Jordan says he knows that people in power can say one thing in private then pretend they never said that in public. He thinks it's for the best interests of all that they do this here and now and Bob's happy to oblige them.
Jason Jordan knows there's big things going on in CWA right now which is why they came here---but what he's a little annoyed about is that he looked at the format for this week and saw no tag team matches. Bob points out that tag team wrestling is more then welcome in the CWA but there's a tournament right now that his attention and a thing he needs to be locked in on. Chad Gable can respect the focus on the #1,000,000 tournament but he wants to make sure Bob and company aren't forgetting that they promised people like American Alpha the big money opportunity to compete in front of the best fans in the world. Bob knows he promised them a chance to show their stuff and he's sticking to that. At the same time, Bob also has to respect the tournament and the amount of attention it's requiring to pull off. Jason Jordan says with all due respect, they didn't come here to hear every second about $1,000,000. They came here to wrestle and Bob owes them that chance since they turned down big money to go elsewhere. Armstrong admits the guys have him in a bind but he wants to be fair to them. He asks if American Alpha would love the chance to wrestle next week. Bob says he'll find them some competition and they'll be good to go! He just warns them not to interrupt his show again and then adds that if they want to discuss things, he has an office for a reason! American Alpha don't exactly apologize for interrupting the show but they do tell Bob that the next time they'll try to be a bit more diplomatic about things!
A Little Main Event Hype
We are now taken to a rare video package from our folks at CWA. It's entirely about tonight's main event of Eddie Guerrero vs Scott Hall in the $1,000,000 tournament. The whole point of the package is to point them as clear opposites as Scott Hall is a big burly loud mouth brawler who enjoys women and drinking while Eddie Guerrero is painted as a savvy smart undersized family man who is attempting to make his family legacy proud. Scott Hall talks openly about how his relationship with Bobby Heenan is almost entirely due to Heenan's willingness to handle his bar tabs and legal fees while Guerrero is about the legacy of his family. Scott Hall describes his style in wrestling as "purely 100% unadulterated nastiness" while Guerrero acknowledges he has to uphold his brand of wrestling which is high flying. Guerrero says he's modified his style somewhat to adapt more to American wrestling tradition and thinks he's perfected "a Guerrero style of wrestling to live on for years to come." Last time we saw these two they were jostling over a spot in the tournament as Eddie Guerrero's spot was almost stolen by the Heenan family. With Sheamus sitting outside looking in, Scott Hall here is to get revenge for the group. Eddie promises that Scott's going to be disappointed while Scott Hall says that he knows kids in high school who are probably bigger than Guerrero "and if they stood in my way of a million bucks I'd slap the hell out of them too." That's our main event for tonight, folks!
In our third contest of the evening, Shawn Michaels defeated Terry Funk with Sweet Chin Music in 9 minutes and 39 seconds!
This one figured to be the most competitive of the matches so far and it didn't disappoint as the wily veteran "Middle Aged And Crazy" Terry Funk came out first and tried to fight with any and all fans he could! Funk's 100% locked in as a character and there's very little to mistake about an old man who seems hellbent on ending his life each time out. Funk spent the entirety of Shawn Michaels' entrance jawing and arguing with Lance Russell and claiming this was a continuation of a conspiracy that dates back over 35 years "WHEN I FIRST CAME INTO THIS DAMN STATE! I HATE THIS STATE AND I HATE YOU LANCE!" Funk was basically bitched out the entirety of the opening as he couldn't keep up with Shawn Michaels' athletically, couldn't outwrestle him and when he tried to make it a fight, Michaels was more than happy to just chop and punch the hell out of him. The commentary team made it a point to discuss how Michaels had to come up the hard way in pro wrestling so there's really nothing that can phase him from a stylistic or a temperament standpoint. "Some people say Shawn Michaels is a dark horse here but I'd say he's a favorite almost given how versatile and good he is!" Shawn Michaels finally loses a bit of the advantage when Terry Funk suckers him in with a bit of a "Please I'm just an old man" routine and goes to the eyes! Funk rakes Michaels' eyes over the top rope and then teases a piledriver outside the ring when he gets control! Michaels is able to backbody drop his way out of it and Funk takes a nasty splat on the floor! Shawn Michaels wants a big dive onto Terry Funk but Funk moves out of the way! Michaels is able to land on his feet but he seems to land funny, opening the door for Funk to kick him in the knee and DDT him on the floor outside the ring! He tries to milk that for a ten count but Shawn Michaels re-enters the ring and Funk goes to town stomping on that leg!
The match now changes up to feature a desperate Terry Funk trying to put Michaels in a bad enough spot where his move the Spinning Toe Hold can get it done. Funk wraps Michaels' leg around the ring post and at one point he just starts punching away at it while Michaels is stuck on the mat. Funk tears off Michaels' knee pad and then throws it into the crowd for good measure. Shouting at the fans to throw it out into the street so Michaels can't get it! A fan with a hell of an arm manages to throw it back into the ring and Funk uses that to punch away at Michaels' head with it. Goodness. Terry Funk lays Michaels knee over the middle rope and when Funk goes to rise up and sit on it, Michaels adjusts so his his knee is facing upright and Funk crotches himself over Shawn's knee! Even if it hurt Michaels, it clearly hurt Funk more! Michaels launches a less fancy and more old school comeback on Funk with atomic drops, a big running clothesline and then ten punches in the corner. Shawn Michaels tries for his top rope elbow drop but Funk accidentally kicks the referee into tthe top rope so Shawn gets crotched up top! Michaels is about to eat a top rope superplex but he blocks it and Funk slams face first to the mat! Michaels goes for his top rope elbow drop but Funk rolls out of the way and Shawn Michaels has a bad landing on the elbow drop! A brief double down opens the door for Funk to recover first and go for his spinning toe hold on the hurt leg of Michaels! He gets a few turns in before Shawn Michaels boots him in the ass and Funk flies off into the turnbuckles hard! Michaels goes for his diving forearm but Funk drops down and Michaels goes careening to the mat. Funk gets up thinking Michaels is done for and he's walking around the ring but Shawn Michaels kips and drops Terry Funk with the superkick for a three count! Shawn Michaels defeats Terry Funk and he's advancing to he next round!
-A slow motion replay really puts over just how hard Shawn Michaels landed that superkick on Terry Funk and seeing Funk go down in slow motion is the icing on the cake needed to remind us that Shawn Michaels is a genuine contender in this race for $1,000,000. The commentators mention how Michaels may not have had the most perfect run relative to his talent level but he clearly survived a very tough opponent who had him scouted. "I don't think anybody who is honest with themselves can call this a disappointing performance!" says Russell as Michaels gingerly walks around the ring, making sure to pose for the crowd every once in a while. Funk is up to his feet outside the ring and he takes a swing at a camera guy before he throws a wild shot at nobody and flair flops! "Look at the damage the sweet chin music can do to a guy!" says Russell while Don West suggests that maybe Terry Funk had a few screws loose to begin with. We've got Shawn Michaels, Roman Reigns and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin all advancing to the next round and so far that's a pretty damn crazy mix of wrestlers!
At the winner's circle, Lance Russell welcomes in Shawn Michaels who begins his victory speech by mentioning how many good looking ladies they have here. Michaels gets cheers for the women but some boos from the guys in the audience which prompts Shawn to ask "So they're not good looking? Ouch." Michaels says he'd love to jok earound but first he wants to give all credit where it's due; putting over Terry Funk as a crazy old man and wild dude who gave him a challenge. Michaels says he was always taught to respect his elders and Terry Funk just tried to beat the absolute hell out of him so he respects him for that. Michaels says Funk's problem is a problem that a whole company of people are going to have. "You can be old, young, great, big, strong, fast, green, white, black or whatever BUT....you're not Shawn Michaels! You're not the Heart Break Kid!" Shawn Michaels says that at the end of the day there's only one Shawn Michaels and that means everybody else is just in a long painful competition to try and find the runner up in this tournament. Shawn says that everybody in Tennessee can meet up with him at the afterparty for a few drinks and any ladies who think they've got what it takes to what he's got (Goodness) can start the line to the left!
AND NEXT WEEK!
Now it's time for more of Caprice's Corner as it's Caprice Coleman's job to preview next week's action! A large percentage of the focus is on the main event for next week as it's Rick Rude vs Ricky Steamboat "in a rivalry that spans a decade. The family man vs the house wrecker!" Caprice breaks down each man's big move and it's the Rude Awakening vs the top rope crossbody. The Rude Awakening as Caprice breaks it down pretty clearly as a move that is as humiliating as it is devastating. He says that RUde's ability to create torque with not just his upper body but with his hips when applying the move is something Steamboat has felt first hand. On the other hand, Steamboat's crossbody is done with expert precision and when he hits it, it's often hit in the center of the ring where there is no escape. Coleman also brings up Steamboat's wide array of chops and how he can utilize basically a different style of chop for a different part of the body. On the same card you have Cedric Alexander, somebody Caprice knows well, taking on Brian Pillman. Pillman has a temper that can make him unpredictable while Alexander's offense makes him unpredictable in the ring. Caprice says his only regret is that each guy is going to have just ten minutes to really strut their stuff and he laments that the time limit might hold these guys back or it could make them even more unpredictable! "All that and more next week!"
Some FINAL Hype!
We get to touch base with the two men in our main event first and foremost. In the Heenan Family/heel locker room, Scott Hall is drinking mere seconds before his match. Roman Reigns and Rick Rude are hyping Hall up while Bobby Heenan reminds him that Eddie Guerrero disrespected their family last time out! "You owe it to us!" shouts Bobby as Hall is downing himself a blue moon. On the other side, Eddie Guerrero is being fired up by "family friend" Rey Mysterio Jr who tells him that the opportunity to win $1,000,000 is in front of him. "Somebody has to shut those guys up!" Eddie says that Scott Hall is bigger than him but he's not smarter than him and Rey says everybody knows that. "Now prove it!"
In our main event, Eddie Guerrero defeats Scott Hall by roll up in just under 10 minutes to advance!
Scott Hall is out first and he's got Bobby Heenan by his side and a drink in his hand. We're reminded that Heenan cannot interfere in this match or risk suspensions for the next show which is damaging since he has two other guys competing next week. Scott Hall oozes cool and drips personality which makes it a shame he's rolling around with Bobby Heenan. Eddie Guerrero is out next and Eddie makes it a point to slap hands with all of the fans and fire them up as much as he's fired up! There's an "Eddie" chant early on and when Heenan tries to start a "Scotty!" chant in response, he's a) booed down by the fans and b) mocked by Hall who openly says "Who the hell is Scotty?" The opening of the match is a lot of Scott Hall buffoonery like the toothpick toss to the face of Eddie Guerrero, a collar and elbow tie where he bullies Eddie into the corner and ruffles his hair and the takedown into the face rubbing into the mat. Scott Hall has the back mount on Eddie Guerrero and he pretends to ride him like a horse for big boos from the crowd. Hall is trying to be as prickish as possible and Eddie Guerrero lights him up with a chop! A second one follows and Hall goes with a knee to the gut! Eddie sells it like he got hit low and falls down grabbing at his groin! The referee thinks Hall might've cheated and he's warning him to keep it up but Hall is arguing it was clean the whole way. Hall stomps over to Guerrero and gets hit with a kip up headscissors that sends him to the outside followed up by a big tope from Guerrero to Scott Hall!
From here we've got a momentum shift as Hall is now beginning to struggle with Eddie's speed and agility. As the commentators debate whether Hall got Eddie with a low blow or not, Eddie's all over the place with his offense. Eddie hits another dive through the ropes to put Scott Hall down and then he breaks out a rolling senton off the ring apron onto Hall outside the ring. Eddie Guerrero is vaulted up into the air off a springboard but Hall catches him somehow! Hall rams Eddie Guerrero back first into the ring post and then hits a fallaway slam on the outside! God damn dude! Eddie Guerrero is writhing in pain and Scott Hall makes sure to roll in and then roll back out so he can continue the punishment. Hall is really going all in on hurting Guerrero including a big suplex on the floor again for added thump. Scott Hall takes over on offense and his gameplan is simple; hit a power move, cover Guerrero then slap him around if he kicks out. Scott Hall hits a sidewalk slam onto Eddie Guerrer for a two count and then he slaps him upside the head before he can rise up to his feet. Hall gives us the big "THAT'S IT!" and Heenan wants him to hit the edge! He lifts him up for the Outsiders Edge but Eddie Guerrero winds up kicking and flailing until he winds up on the top rope. Scott Hall wants a big top rope back suplex but Eddie Guerrero rolls into him and Scott Hall winds up getting hit with a mid air falling crossbody much to the crowd's delight!
Eddie mounts a fiery and valiant comeback and he's all over the place on Hall. A series of hurricanranas put Hall down and then Eddie Guerrero breaks out a big monkey flip onto Scott Hall! Eddie Guerrero heads up to the top rope for a frog splash but Hall rolls to the outside so Eddie makes the decision to dive to the outside! He wipes Hall out, rolls him back into the ring and hits his tumbleweed senton for a two count. Eddie Guerrero manages to show off his strength as he goes for his three amigos! He hits two of them but on the third one, the referee gets too close and Hall kicks the referee in the face on the way up! The ref goes down and Eddie hits his third suplex! Eddie Guerrero is recovering and in comes Bobby Heenan with a chair! The crowd's insanely annoyed by the arrival of Heenan who is going to take advantage of this situation---but instead Eddie Guerrero scares Heenan off and Heenan drops the chair! Bobby takes his trademark dive over the top rope and Eddie grabs the chair! Guerrero has Hall lined up, he sees that the referee is recovering and he slams the chair down as if it was used and flops to the mat! The referee recovers to see Scott Hall leaning against the ropes while Eddie's down and the chair is by his body! The referee points to the chair and points to Hall and does the "DID YOU HIT HIM!?" thing. Hall is begging off and tells the referee he was down! Hall tries to argue that Eddie hit HIM with the chair as Eddie's laid out on the mat in front of him. Hall goes to pull Eddie up to prove his point but Eddie surprises him with a small package AND he gets the win! Eddie Guerrero beats Scott Hall!
-The post match is a sight to behold as Scott Hall is freaking out about the way this went down while the fans are freaking out in joy! "Eddie Guerrero just outsmarted The Heenan Family!" Eddie Guerrero is still selling the "chair shot" but once the referee raises his arm up and Eddie's in the clear, Guerrero begins to do his trademark taunt and act as though he's absolutely fine. Hall and Heenan are throwing a fit in the ring and we get the replay run where we get to see how Eddie lied, cheated and stole his way to a big win. Hall's "WHAT HAPPENED?!" is so desperate and emotional that you can almost see Heenan struggling not to lose it. Eddie Guerrero is joining Roman Reigns, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Shawn Michaels into the next round!
Before Eddie Guerrero can even get into his winner's circle speech, he's interrupted by Bobby Heenan! Heenan starts off his speech by shotuing about how Guerrero robbed Scott Hall---but then he actually says he likes that! Scott Hall is shouting at Bobby but Heenan tells Hall to calm down and let him get his point across! Bobby says it takes a lot of guts to pull a fast one on him and so he's impressed by what Eddie did. He says it makes him think Eddie might be a lot better than he realized and while Guerrero might not realize it right now, what he did was very impressive. As such, Bobby Heenan wants to make amends and while he's not apologizing, he wants Eddie Guerrero to join his family! Eddie says he offered that to Bobby before and Bobby turned him down and Heenan just offers up a very quick "I learned my lesson don't get stupid about it!" Heenan says Eddie can join his Family but Eddie says at this point, he's not interested! He says he did it without Bobby and he'll continue to do it without Bobby Heenan! "So you can kiss my ass Ese!" Eddie Guerrero gets slapped by Heenan! Eddie grabs Heenan by the tie---and then here comes Hall and company to beat him down! Eddie is jumped by the Heenan Family! They slam him into the ring post and then Eddie Guerrero gets hit with the Razor's Edge through the announcers table! The commentators are shouting about how this is disgraceful and Heenan chimes in that what's disgraceful is Eddie making a joke out of his offer! Rude Awakening on the hard pavement for Guerrero! Heenan wants another but here comes the babyfaces like Rey Mysterio Jr, Lex Luger (with a cast on), Shawn Michaels with a chair and American Alpha! They're checking on the hurt Eddie Guerrero as Heenan and his family walk off having sent a message!
Live From Memphis, Tennessee
The Tournament Is Revealed!
Wrestlers Compete For $1,000,000!
Terry Funk Is Crazy!
Tag Teams Complain!
The Opening
After a basic video package opening to some snazzy synth heavy misic, we are live! Live from Memphis, Tennessee, our opening episode of CWA begins with a shot of the Memphis TV studio audience cheering it up! It's a festive atmosphere and our commentator duo of Lance Russell and Don West begin by welcoming the audience to what figures to be the most chaotic wrestling hour that anybody has seen! On today's episode, "the first step in the quest of sixteen men with million dollar dreams begin!" The tournament begins tonight as the first half of the sixteen man tournament begins and will continue over the course of eight long weeks where at the end of it all, one man is going to win a cool $1,000,00! "Absolutely but to do so he'll need to conquer fifteen other elite high level versatile athletes!" adds Don West. We're being taken right away to a video package where we're going to learn the official brackets! The brackets were drawn earlier today where there was a mandatory attendance for the wrestlers except for Drew McIntyre who isn't here due to ongoing visa problems. We see all of the wrestlers sitting in their seats and we're going to get our first look at the tournament brackets, unveiled by Bullet Bob Armstrong! Bob explains that these brackets were computer generated and then approved by the championship committee who went over it to ensure there's no "unfair matchups" in it. All of this leads us to the reveal where we find out who will face who in the opening round!
Week One
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Reverend D'Von
Shawn Michaels Vs Terry Funk
Roman Reigns Vs D'lo Brown
Eddie Guerrero Vs Scott Hall
Week Two
Brian Pillman vs Cedric Alexander
Ken Shamrock vs Jeff Jarrett
Rick Rude vs Ricky Steamboat
Drew McIntyre vs Scott Steiner
That kicks off a big huff from Bobby Heenan and the Heenan Family! Heenan claims that this is a sham and a set up because he has four guys in the tournament and "magically and without any sort of bias from this crock committee", he's got two guys facing off. "Wrestling Sheriff" Bob Armstrong says everything was computer generated and when Heenan asks why Armstrong didn't have "the computer whatever some macbook or something" reconfigure the brackets, Armstrong said the committee didn't see a problem with it. Armstrong says it guarantees a member of his family through and an angry Heenan says thats BS because it also guarantees somebody loses! Heenan says that this is a joke and he has every right to sue and it's Roman Reigns who calms things down by telling Heenan to not sweat the small stuff. Jeff Jarrett says Bob Armstrong is "a two bit Tennessee carny!" and when Bob Armstrong says it takes one to know one, Jeff Jarrett takes a bump! Roman says Heenan needs to get some fresh air and the two bail with the rest of the Heenan family following close behind but not before Bobby says that Armstrong has already burned his bridge with him!
Back live at the interview area, Bobby Heenan is still ranting and raving. He says he's being screwed over by Bob Armstrong and the CWA and he asks how "the good honest people of Tennessee" can allow this to happen. They boo and Heenan asks if they're booing him (to cheers) or Armstrong (to boos). "SEE THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!" Heenan cuts a generic but impactful promo about how no matter what is in his way, he's going to have a wrestler win a million dollars. Heenan says it's not about him or his 50% cut of the million ("FIFTY PERCENT?! NOT EVEN UNCLE SAM COULD FINAGLE A TAX THAT LARGE!" barks Russell) but about the principle. He says everyone is against his guys but his guys are going to overcome the odds. He says tonight, he knows for a fact that Roman Reigns is going to effortlessly dismantle "whatever he is. UPS Brown or Downtown Brown or whatever!" and then he knows that Scott Hall is going to send Eddie Guerrero back to "Tijuana in whatever clown car he rode in here on!" Heenan says that CWA and Memphis can't hold him back any longer and when he asks who is going to stop them, the glass shatters! Heenan freezes up in his place as out steps "Stone Cold" Steve Austin! Ole Stone Cold is on his way to the ring, son! Steve Austin stares Heenan down and then tosses off his vest to get ready for in ring action!
In our opening contest, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin defeated Reverend D'Von in a little under four minutes with the Stone Cold Stunner!
Poor Reverend D'Von was already in the ring this whole time so dude got the job guy entrance. This audience views Austin as a big deal and he carries himself as such in kind. Austin posed with fingers up in all four corners to which Lance Russell had to profusely apologize before adding "a rebel like Steve Austin will put you in a bad spot sometimes!" Reverend D'Von has his book with him and he says that Steve Austin clearly is a man who needs spiritual guidance. He opens up his bible and asks if Austin wants to hear a specific verse that might cleanse his soul. "For a small donation of course." Austin asks if D'Von has John 3:16 in there. D'Von says he does and asks if Austin wants to make a donation to hear it. Austin then asks if Reverend D'Von's bible has "Austin 3:16" in it---D'Von realizes he's about to get his ass whooped and tries to jump Austin only to get blocked and dropped with a right hand! This is 100% a squash match from the start as Austin was all over D'Von and did all of the classics. He worked him over in the corner, stomped a mudhole and walked it dry and even got the Thesz Press going early on. Austin went for the Stunner and D'Von wiggled out the back door and escaped outside where Austin put a beating on him outside the ring. D'Von showed his commitment to the business (BROTHER) by taking a back body drop on the hard studio floor from Austin. Reverend D'Von tried to pray Austin away, Austin hit him with double birds and then booted him upside the head before jawjacking with the crowd.
Austin went for a second stunner attempt and D'Von turned that into an atomic drop into a clothesline from behind! This gave us our first real glimpse of D'Von on offense and they kept it very brief but very rugged. D'von worked over Austin's neck which the commentary team was quick to point out is something Austin has struggled with in the past. It's even speculated that the reason Austin is so focused on hurting the neck of others with the Stunner is because he knows how debilitating it is because "it's the one thing that can be done to him to slow him down." D'Von hits a diving forearm off the ropes to Austin and covers him for a two count. D'Von's run on offense isn't quite as long as he would hope as he goes for his saving grace but Austin lands behind him! D'Von turns around and FINALLY eats the stunner! The Stone Cold Stunner is flush and the night is done for Reverend D'Von!
-In our post match, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin made sure to give the Reverend D'Von plenty of jawjacking and then did his poses for the crowd. The replay run for the big moves aired and the general point of view was that Austin only needs to hit one move to the damage equivalent of eleven moves for someone like D'Von. "And that's no slight on D'Von but man, Stone Cold is just truly on another level!" Back to live action, Steve Austin was absolutely in "not paid by the hour" mode as he made his way around the ringside area to get his vest and leave. Seemingly. Instead he went back to the interview area where Lance Russell met him.
Lance asks Steve if he had something he wanted to say and Steve Austin says that he's not about to talk a bunch of crap about anybody out here. All Steve wants to say is that he wants people to completely understand him. The crowd is doing the "WHAT?" thing but Steve seems 100% determined to not fall into that trap; barreling through to explain that sometimes he's going to wrestle guys the fans LOVE and they're going to hate him and sometimes he is going to wrestle guys the fans HATE and they're going to love him. He says no matter what the fans do or don't do, he'll always stay the same because he was born to be Stone Cold and he will always remain Stone Cold. Steve Austin says that he's not going to be a guy like Bobby Heenan and bitch about how things are or aren't going his way because nobody likes a bitch. Instead what he's going to do is run through each and every person put in front of him on his way to $1,000,000 because that can buy a lot of beer, a lot of guns, a lot of trucks and a hell of a lot of hunting land. "Well not if you spend it all at once, Steve!" counters Russell and we get a cute moment where Lance Russell is laughing at his own joke, realizes Steve's not laughing and shuts up. Steve's about to continue his promo but here comes Roman Reigns with Bobby Heenan! Heenan shouts that Austin should stick around so he can learn something but Steve flips both guys off and says he'd rather go drink beer!
In our follow up contest, Roman Reigns defeats D'Lo Brown in a little over 2 minutes with the spear!
With Roman Reigns already in the ring, the onus was on D'Lo Brown to make his way down there and join the mix. D'Lo came out to a pretty nice response from the crowd doing his full head wobble and swag walk but when he hopped up on the apron, Roman charged and booted him right in the face and knocked him to the floor! Reigns put a beating on D'Lo Brown outside the ring including sending him into the ring post repeatedly! With Heenan shouting encouragement, Reigns absolutely walloped on Brown until D'Lo made a desperate comeback with rights and lefts! Roman retreated into the ring to try and get away which in turn kicked off Roman Reigns vs D'Lo Brown officially. D'Lo showed off some power by slamming Roman Reigns to the mat and then headed up to the top rope for a flyin' nothing because Reigns got the boot up! D'lo is stumbling around and Reigns lights him up with a big superman punch! Reigns wants his spear but Heenan shouts that he needs to send a message so Reigns hits a SECOND superman punch! Heenan wants this to be done with now and so Reigns finishes the deal with a big spear and a cover where he puts a knee over D'lo's chest and scores an easy pinfall!
-Our post match is pretty simple as the crowd is obviously not thrilled about D'Lo Brown getting his ass handed him to him in an especially unfair manner. As lance Russell and Don West try to argue about fairness for the competitors, Don West makes the ultimate point that "Unfortunately you can't expect men to be realistic about principled combat when there's $1,000,000 on the line!" We get our first rendition of Caprice's Corner as we're taken to Caprice Coleman who in a minute or so is able to properly breakdown how the Superman Punch as Roman does it is both unique and effective. He then turns his attention to proper spear technique, arguing that Roman never puts himself in a bad spot to be hurt WHILE giving the move, calling it a controlled chaos that when done properly is safe to the wrestler giving it and devastating to the man taking it.
We come back live to Roman Reigns and Bobby Heenan here together at the winner's circle area to discuss what went down. Roman Reigns asks how long it took Steve Austin ("I refuse to call a man Stone Cold") to win his match and then asks to compare times. Reigns wants Russell to say that he took less time to win the match than Steve did and when Russell breaks up how Roman jumped D'lo before the bell began, an annoyed Reigns hits him with a long sigh and a verbal eye roll followed up by a "Am I the damn time keeper? Do I have to take care of the rules around here too?" Reigns says he doesn't care how he did it, the point is he did it. Reigns says that right now there's 1,000,000 reasons why he does the things he does and that it's not his job to referee or officiate. "Bobby can handle the fines, I handle the winning." Reigns says that $1,000,000 is a lot of money and we get a golden bit where he says right now someone in this crowd could use that money to pay off their loans and when the crowd sort of grumbles through it, he points out that Steve Austin got a bigger reaction talking about using that money to buy beer than he did talking about being responsible with money. Reigns says that the people of the CWA don't have to like it but they have to stop and accept that he is here to win $1,000,000 and he will do everything within the rules, beyond the rules and just flat out beyond the scope of a modern man to win it. "I will hurt a lot of people in the ring and out of it and Bobby can pay the fines to make it worthwhile." Reigns walks off and Heenan just points out that there's sixteen men, he's got four of them---but with the talent in his family, he knows he's got the four best guys to get the job done and it starts with Roman on down.
Tag Team Wrestling is WELCOME at CWA (Just not this week!)
Lance Russell is left alone to do the wrap up and Lance points out that we've already had two of the biggest names in wrestling advance in the race to $1,000,000. Lance Russell says either Austin or Reigns will be tough to beat going forward and then he paints a picture of Austin vs Heenan as a bigger extended angle, discussing how if Austin winds up against a guy within Bobby's family of wrestlers, he'll be left to wonder if they want to take Steve out for themselves or if they'll have orders to get rid of Austin for Reigns. Either way, the general vibe seems to be painting a picture that these two are the favorites. Before Lance can get too far into doddering, he's interrupted by the arrival of American Alpha! Chad Gable and Jason Jordan are here but they're not dressed to wrestle! The two approach Lance Russell and say that they'd like to speak to Bob Armstrong. It takes a little bit of time but out comes Bob to join them at the table! Bob says the guys could've spoken to him in the back but Jason Jordan says he knows that people in power can say one thing in private then pretend they never said that in public. He thinks it's for the best interests of all that they do this here and now and Bob's happy to oblige them.
Jason Jordan knows there's big things going on in CWA right now which is why they came here---but what he's a little annoyed about is that he looked at the format for this week and saw no tag team matches. Bob points out that tag team wrestling is more then welcome in the CWA but there's a tournament right now that his attention and a thing he needs to be locked in on. Chad Gable can respect the focus on the #1,000,000 tournament but he wants to make sure Bob and company aren't forgetting that they promised people like American Alpha the big money opportunity to compete in front of the best fans in the world. Bob knows he promised them a chance to show their stuff and he's sticking to that. At the same time, Bob also has to respect the tournament and the amount of attention it's requiring to pull off. Jason Jordan says with all due respect, they didn't come here to hear every second about $1,000,000. They came here to wrestle and Bob owes them that chance since they turned down big money to go elsewhere. Armstrong admits the guys have him in a bind but he wants to be fair to them. He asks if American Alpha would love the chance to wrestle next week. Bob says he'll find them some competition and they'll be good to go! He just warns them not to interrupt his show again and then adds that if they want to discuss things, he has an office for a reason! American Alpha don't exactly apologize for interrupting the show but they do tell Bob that the next time they'll try to be a bit more diplomatic about things!
A Little Main Event Hype
We are now taken to a rare video package from our folks at CWA. It's entirely about tonight's main event of Eddie Guerrero vs Scott Hall in the $1,000,000 tournament. The whole point of the package is to point them as clear opposites as Scott Hall is a big burly loud mouth brawler who enjoys women and drinking while Eddie Guerrero is painted as a savvy smart undersized family man who is attempting to make his family legacy proud. Scott Hall talks openly about how his relationship with Bobby Heenan is almost entirely due to Heenan's willingness to handle his bar tabs and legal fees while Guerrero is about the legacy of his family. Scott Hall describes his style in wrestling as "purely 100% unadulterated nastiness" while Guerrero acknowledges he has to uphold his brand of wrestling which is high flying. Guerrero says he's modified his style somewhat to adapt more to American wrestling tradition and thinks he's perfected "a Guerrero style of wrestling to live on for years to come." Last time we saw these two they were jostling over a spot in the tournament as Eddie Guerrero's spot was almost stolen by the Heenan family. With Sheamus sitting outside looking in, Scott Hall here is to get revenge for the group. Eddie promises that Scott's going to be disappointed while Scott Hall says that he knows kids in high school who are probably bigger than Guerrero "and if they stood in my way of a million bucks I'd slap the hell out of them too." That's our main event for tonight, folks!
In our third contest of the evening, Shawn Michaels defeated Terry Funk with Sweet Chin Music in 9 minutes and 39 seconds!
This one figured to be the most competitive of the matches so far and it didn't disappoint as the wily veteran "Middle Aged And Crazy" Terry Funk came out first and tried to fight with any and all fans he could! Funk's 100% locked in as a character and there's very little to mistake about an old man who seems hellbent on ending his life each time out. Funk spent the entirety of Shawn Michaels' entrance jawing and arguing with Lance Russell and claiming this was a continuation of a conspiracy that dates back over 35 years "WHEN I FIRST CAME INTO THIS DAMN STATE! I HATE THIS STATE AND I HATE YOU LANCE!" Funk was basically bitched out the entirety of the opening as he couldn't keep up with Shawn Michaels' athletically, couldn't outwrestle him and when he tried to make it a fight, Michaels was more than happy to just chop and punch the hell out of him. The commentary team made it a point to discuss how Michaels had to come up the hard way in pro wrestling so there's really nothing that can phase him from a stylistic or a temperament standpoint. "Some people say Shawn Michaels is a dark horse here but I'd say he's a favorite almost given how versatile and good he is!" Shawn Michaels finally loses a bit of the advantage when Terry Funk suckers him in with a bit of a "Please I'm just an old man" routine and goes to the eyes! Funk rakes Michaels' eyes over the top rope and then teases a piledriver outside the ring when he gets control! Michaels is able to backbody drop his way out of it and Funk takes a nasty splat on the floor! Shawn Michaels wants a big dive onto Terry Funk but Funk moves out of the way! Michaels is able to land on his feet but he seems to land funny, opening the door for Funk to kick him in the knee and DDT him on the floor outside the ring! He tries to milk that for a ten count but Shawn Michaels re-enters the ring and Funk goes to town stomping on that leg!
The match now changes up to feature a desperate Terry Funk trying to put Michaels in a bad enough spot where his move the Spinning Toe Hold can get it done. Funk wraps Michaels' leg around the ring post and at one point he just starts punching away at it while Michaels is stuck on the mat. Funk tears off Michaels' knee pad and then throws it into the crowd for good measure. Shouting at the fans to throw it out into the street so Michaels can't get it! A fan with a hell of an arm manages to throw it back into the ring and Funk uses that to punch away at Michaels' head with it. Goodness. Terry Funk lays Michaels knee over the middle rope and when Funk goes to rise up and sit on it, Michaels adjusts so his his knee is facing upright and Funk crotches himself over Shawn's knee! Even if it hurt Michaels, it clearly hurt Funk more! Michaels launches a less fancy and more old school comeback on Funk with atomic drops, a big running clothesline and then ten punches in the corner. Shawn Michaels tries for his top rope elbow drop but Funk accidentally kicks the referee into tthe top rope so Shawn gets crotched up top! Michaels is about to eat a top rope superplex but he blocks it and Funk slams face first to the mat! Michaels goes for his top rope elbow drop but Funk rolls out of the way and Shawn Michaels has a bad landing on the elbow drop! A brief double down opens the door for Funk to recover first and go for his spinning toe hold on the hurt leg of Michaels! He gets a few turns in before Shawn Michaels boots him in the ass and Funk flies off into the turnbuckles hard! Michaels goes for his diving forearm but Funk drops down and Michaels goes careening to the mat. Funk gets up thinking Michaels is done for and he's walking around the ring but Shawn Michaels kips and drops Terry Funk with the superkick for a three count! Shawn Michaels defeats Terry Funk and he's advancing to he next round!
-A slow motion replay really puts over just how hard Shawn Michaels landed that superkick on Terry Funk and seeing Funk go down in slow motion is the icing on the cake needed to remind us that Shawn Michaels is a genuine contender in this race for $1,000,000. The commentators mention how Michaels may not have had the most perfect run relative to his talent level but he clearly survived a very tough opponent who had him scouted. "I don't think anybody who is honest with themselves can call this a disappointing performance!" says Russell as Michaels gingerly walks around the ring, making sure to pose for the crowd every once in a while. Funk is up to his feet outside the ring and he takes a swing at a camera guy before he throws a wild shot at nobody and flair flops! "Look at the damage the sweet chin music can do to a guy!" says Russell while Don West suggests that maybe Terry Funk had a few screws loose to begin with. We've got Shawn Michaels, Roman Reigns and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin all advancing to the next round and so far that's a pretty damn crazy mix of wrestlers!
At the winner's circle, Lance Russell welcomes in Shawn Michaels who begins his victory speech by mentioning how many good looking ladies they have here. Michaels gets cheers for the women but some boos from the guys in the audience which prompts Shawn to ask "So they're not good looking? Ouch." Michaels says he'd love to jok earound but first he wants to give all credit where it's due; putting over Terry Funk as a crazy old man and wild dude who gave him a challenge. Michaels says he was always taught to respect his elders and Terry Funk just tried to beat the absolute hell out of him so he respects him for that. Michaels says Funk's problem is a problem that a whole company of people are going to have. "You can be old, young, great, big, strong, fast, green, white, black or whatever BUT....you're not Shawn Michaels! You're not the Heart Break Kid!" Shawn Michaels says that at the end of the day there's only one Shawn Michaels and that means everybody else is just in a long painful competition to try and find the runner up in this tournament. Shawn says that everybody in Tennessee can meet up with him at the afterparty for a few drinks and any ladies who think they've got what it takes to what he's got (Goodness) can start the line to the left!
AND NEXT WEEK!
Now it's time for more of Caprice's Corner as it's Caprice Coleman's job to preview next week's action! A large percentage of the focus is on the main event for next week as it's Rick Rude vs Ricky Steamboat "in a rivalry that spans a decade. The family man vs the house wrecker!" Caprice breaks down each man's big move and it's the Rude Awakening vs the top rope crossbody. The Rude Awakening as Caprice breaks it down pretty clearly as a move that is as humiliating as it is devastating. He says that RUde's ability to create torque with not just his upper body but with his hips when applying the move is something Steamboat has felt first hand. On the other hand, Steamboat's crossbody is done with expert precision and when he hits it, it's often hit in the center of the ring where there is no escape. Coleman also brings up Steamboat's wide array of chops and how he can utilize basically a different style of chop for a different part of the body. On the same card you have Cedric Alexander, somebody Caprice knows well, taking on Brian Pillman. Pillman has a temper that can make him unpredictable while Alexander's offense makes him unpredictable in the ring. Caprice says his only regret is that each guy is going to have just ten minutes to really strut their stuff and he laments that the time limit might hold these guys back or it could make them even more unpredictable! "All that and more next week!"
Some FINAL Hype!
We get to touch base with the two men in our main event first and foremost. In the Heenan Family/heel locker room, Scott Hall is drinking mere seconds before his match. Roman Reigns and Rick Rude are hyping Hall up while Bobby Heenan reminds him that Eddie Guerrero disrespected their family last time out! "You owe it to us!" shouts Bobby as Hall is downing himself a blue moon. On the other side, Eddie Guerrero is being fired up by "family friend" Rey Mysterio Jr who tells him that the opportunity to win $1,000,000 is in front of him. "Somebody has to shut those guys up!" Eddie says that Scott Hall is bigger than him but he's not smarter than him and Rey says everybody knows that. "Now prove it!"
In our main event, Eddie Guerrero defeats Scott Hall by roll up in just under 10 minutes to advance!
Scott Hall is out first and he's got Bobby Heenan by his side and a drink in his hand. We're reminded that Heenan cannot interfere in this match or risk suspensions for the next show which is damaging since he has two other guys competing next week. Scott Hall oozes cool and drips personality which makes it a shame he's rolling around with Bobby Heenan. Eddie Guerrero is out next and Eddie makes it a point to slap hands with all of the fans and fire them up as much as he's fired up! There's an "Eddie" chant early on and when Heenan tries to start a "Scotty!" chant in response, he's a) booed down by the fans and b) mocked by Hall who openly says "Who the hell is Scotty?" The opening of the match is a lot of Scott Hall buffoonery like the toothpick toss to the face of Eddie Guerrero, a collar and elbow tie where he bullies Eddie into the corner and ruffles his hair and the takedown into the face rubbing into the mat. Scott Hall has the back mount on Eddie Guerrero and he pretends to ride him like a horse for big boos from the crowd. Hall is trying to be as prickish as possible and Eddie Guerrero lights him up with a chop! A second one follows and Hall goes with a knee to the gut! Eddie sells it like he got hit low and falls down grabbing at his groin! The referee thinks Hall might've cheated and he's warning him to keep it up but Hall is arguing it was clean the whole way. Hall stomps over to Guerrero and gets hit with a kip up headscissors that sends him to the outside followed up by a big tope from Guerrero to Scott Hall!
From here we've got a momentum shift as Hall is now beginning to struggle with Eddie's speed and agility. As the commentators debate whether Hall got Eddie with a low blow or not, Eddie's all over the place with his offense. Eddie hits another dive through the ropes to put Scott Hall down and then he breaks out a rolling senton off the ring apron onto Hall outside the ring. Eddie Guerrero is vaulted up into the air off a springboard but Hall catches him somehow! Hall rams Eddie Guerrero back first into the ring post and then hits a fallaway slam on the outside! God damn dude! Eddie Guerrero is writhing in pain and Scott Hall makes sure to roll in and then roll back out so he can continue the punishment. Hall is really going all in on hurting Guerrero including a big suplex on the floor again for added thump. Scott Hall takes over on offense and his gameplan is simple; hit a power move, cover Guerrero then slap him around if he kicks out. Scott Hall hits a sidewalk slam onto Eddie Guerrer for a two count and then he slaps him upside the head before he can rise up to his feet. Hall gives us the big "THAT'S IT!" and Heenan wants him to hit the edge! He lifts him up for the Outsiders Edge but Eddie Guerrero winds up kicking and flailing until he winds up on the top rope. Scott Hall wants a big top rope back suplex but Eddie Guerrero rolls into him and Scott Hall winds up getting hit with a mid air falling crossbody much to the crowd's delight!
Eddie mounts a fiery and valiant comeback and he's all over the place on Hall. A series of hurricanranas put Hall down and then Eddie Guerrero breaks out a big monkey flip onto Scott Hall! Eddie Guerrero heads up to the top rope for a frog splash but Hall rolls to the outside so Eddie makes the decision to dive to the outside! He wipes Hall out, rolls him back into the ring and hits his tumbleweed senton for a two count. Eddie Guerrero manages to show off his strength as he goes for his three amigos! He hits two of them but on the third one, the referee gets too close and Hall kicks the referee in the face on the way up! The ref goes down and Eddie hits his third suplex! Eddie Guerrero is recovering and in comes Bobby Heenan with a chair! The crowd's insanely annoyed by the arrival of Heenan who is going to take advantage of this situation---but instead Eddie Guerrero scares Heenan off and Heenan drops the chair! Bobby takes his trademark dive over the top rope and Eddie grabs the chair! Guerrero has Hall lined up, he sees that the referee is recovering and he slams the chair down as if it was used and flops to the mat! The referee recovers to see Scott Hall leaning against the ropes while Eddie's down and the chair is by his body! The referee points to the chair and points to Hall and does the "DID YOU HIT HIM!?" thing. Hall is begging off and tells the referee he was down! Hall tries to argue that Eddie hit HIM with the chair as Eddie's laid out on the mat in front of him. Hall goes to pull Eddie up to prove his point but Eddie surprises him with a small package AND he gets the win! Eddie Guerrero beats Scott Hall!
-The post match is a sight to behold as Scott Hall is freaking out about the way this went down while the fans are freaking out in joy! "Eddie Guerrero just outsmarted The Heenan Family!" Eddie Guerrero is still selling the "chair shot" but once the referee raises his arm up and Eddie's in the clear, Guerrero begins to do his trademark taunt and act as though he's absolutely fine. Hall and Heenan are throwing a fit in the ring and we get the replay run where we get to see how Eddie lied, cheated and stole his way to a big win. Hall's "WHAT HAPPENED?!" is so desperate and emotional that you can almost see Heenan struggling not to lose it. Eddie Guerrero is joining Roman Reigns, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Shawn Michaels into the next round!
Before Eddie Guerrero can even get into his winner's circle speech, he's interrupted by Bobby Heenan! Heenan starts off his speech by shotuing about how Guerrero robbed Scott Hall---but then he actually says he likes that! Scott Hall is shouting at Bobby but Heenan tells Hall to calm down and let him get his point across! Bobby says it takes a lot of guts to pull a fast one on him and so he's impressed by what Eddie did. He says it makes him think Eddie might be a lot better than he realized and while Guerrero might not realize it right now, what he did was very impressive. As such, Bobby Heenan wants to make amends and while he's not apologizing, he wants Eddie Guerrero to join his family! Eddie says he offered that to Bobby before and Bobby turned him down and Heenan just offers up a very quick "I learned my lesson don't get stupid about it!" Heenan says Eddie can join his Family but Eddie says at this point, he's not interested! He says he did it without Bobby and he'll continue to do it without Bobby Heenan! "So you can kiss my ass Ese!" Eddie Guerrero gets slapped by Heenan! Eddie grabs Heenan by the tie---and then here comes Hall and company to beat him down! Eddie is jumped by the Heenan Family! They slam him into the ring post and then Eddie Guerrero gets hit with the Razor's Edge through the announcers table! The commentators are shouting about how this is disgraceful and Heenan chimes in that what's disgraceful is Eddie making a joke out of his offer! Rude Awakening on the hard pavement for Guerrero! Heenan wants another but here comes the babyfaces like Rey Mysterio Jr, Lex Luger (with a cast on), Shawn Michaels with a chair and American Alpha! They're checking on the hurt Eddie Guerrero as Heenan and his family walk off having sent a message!
